Abe has been out in CA since the 11th for training. I didn't mention it before now kind of for security reasons. This blog is anything but anonymous. I think by the time he deploys I may have to start up a new blog and use a little more discretion. I also think this time around I would feel a lot safer at home with the boys if we have an alarm system. Right now I am comforted by Mackie, but she probably won't make it through the next deployment. Maybe she will prove me wrong, let's hope so.
So the boys and I have been doing our thing. Daily life seems to keep us busy but I've also been seeing a lot more of my friends. Most of which have husbands away, as well. We have to rely on each other for getting through these difficult times because no matter how strong you are, you can't do it alone. Not that 3 weeks apart is all that difficult. But it sure has given me a taste of what the deployment will be like. I'm dreading it like you wouldn't believe but trying hard not to dwell on it. I don't want to be robbed of the time we have left.
Abe will be home in just a few days and thankfully the boys have done quite well with him being gone. So enough about that.
This morning I decided to take a few shots of Brody outside with my newly planted flowers. It had been too long (several days anyways) since taking pics of him and I wanted Abe to see the flowers anyways. It didn't take Brody long to find the dirt and pull out a few handfuls. Note to self: water the plants AFTER the photo shoot next time!
7 comments:
I am lovin' it! Brody could not be any cuter. He is even more handsome in person, if thats possible. Beautiful flowers by the way. Is there anything that you CAN'T do?! LOL!
I'm dreading it too. But we'll all be here for each other and keep the loneliness down to a dull roar. We can still plan nights at each other's houses. Congrats on surviving this month without Abe....with my mentality these days, I don't think I would have done so well.
Oh, and can Brody get any cuter?
J~
Randy would be proud of you with the flowers! Brody is getting so big! He looks older now, too! Good job, mom, on handling the boys without back-up!
Brody is getting sooo big and he is soo cute. Glad your getting your hubby back soon...and I too am trying hard to not think of future things coming up...in fact, I have no idea what I am talking about?
This is for all you moms out there. At times we think all the little things we do are meaningless. Take a moment to sit back and reflect on this. You all deserve it!
Invisible Mothers...
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did.
Maybe too long but had to be said. I love you, Granny
My thoughts & prayers have been with you. Saw your older sister at the Five Star Complex this p.m. She looked wonderful and happy. I do not envy you and this next deployment, but you have a support group nearby and many folks in different locales who do not forget the sacrifices so many are making for our freedom. GBY
mb from tc
I imagine it is very hard on you without Abe there. I can't imagine how hard the deployment will be....especially with little ones.
Brody is a little doll boy. I love his HUGE blue eyes!
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